Motivation From Ahead

The turn of every year is a big one, especially for those of us who seek self-improvement anyway. Sometimes motivation comes from behind, pushing us to make some changes. The winter holidays, where there can be an excess in food, drink and social activities that seem more like “have to’s” than “want to’s” (that office holiday party? The visit to or from the relatives from hell?).

Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bobistraveling/

If this sounds familiar take heart. First of all, you survived! And you can use your experiences as information for the future. Yea! Is this the last time you’ll agree to manage that office holiday party?  Do you now know that staying in a hotel will serve you more than staying with those relatives (or arranging for their hotel stay), even if it costs more?

I get lots of calls in January from people who are deciding that this was the last holiday where they’ll overdrink and overeat or overdo or over-something. Is now the time you’ll start to deal with some habit that’s been creating problems for yourself or others? Is this your year to really stop smoking (and I don’t mean just nicotine).

Motivation from behind may not feel good, because we’re dealing with the consequences of our choices. So be kind to yourself. The Dalai Lama, one of my most favorite people I’ve never met, says in his book The Art of Happiness (I’m paraphrasing here), if you do something and it makes you happy, do it more. If you do something and it makes you unhappy, stop doing it.

Can be easier said than done – so instead of motivation from behind, try motivation from ahead. Here’s what it looks like:

Is this your year to feel the thrill of saying no to things you usually say, “yes” to?
Imagine how great it will feel to hand over the management of the next office party to someone else for a change. I can feel deep breaths all over the world on that one.

Consider the relief that will come when you never, ever, ever again, get behind the driver’s seat and have to look over your shoulder to see if a DUI is in the cards. I know so many people who feel absolutely ecstatic about this one.

If there’s one new year’s resolution to choose, make it a commitment to choosing motivation for what you want to feel when you’ve said goodbye to something that no longer serves!