Women Healing Women: Is This Your Time for the Power of Group?

When women bond together in a community in such a way

that ‘sisterhood’ is created, it gives them an accepting

and intimate forum to tell their stories

and have them heard and validated by others.

The community not only helps to heal their circumstances,

but encourages them to grow into their larger destiny.

~ Sue Monk Kidd, afterward to The Secret Life of Bees

In 1993, I noticed that some of my women clients were seeking help for similar concerns.

Wanting comfort and understanding, they brought experiences of busy lives juggling work, heath issues and, especially, relationships.

Like most people, they were not mentally ill — even if they felt depressed or anxious, or used the word “crazy.” No, they were dealing with “problems in living.” So why did they invest their precious time and money in therapy?

It turns out that they had some things in common. I wonder if this might also be true for you:

1. You are committed to your own growth.

2. You don’t want to do this alone.

3. You are familiar with the 12-step self-help programs.

4. Something is still missing and you want more.

First, my clients had made a decision to change their lives, usually triggered by pain: A divorce or relationship breakup, the death of a parent, a growing attachment to alcohol or drugs, co-parenting with a hostile ex-partner. Whether they were sucking on cigarettes or parenting by helicopter, feeling victimized in relationship or trapped in a job that fed the family but didn’t nourish their souls, no matter what their individual concern, they knew their patterns and habits did not serve their future. Is anything like this happening for you?

Second, they were around people — kids, partners, co-workers, fellow volunteers on school, church or community projects, friends, family. Yet they felt alone and wanted companionship for their growth.  Is this your experience as well?

Third, my clients had discovered groups that offered something they didn’t get with family and friends. In these gatherings, they could share their pain with others who had experienced their own variation of that pain. Whether it was drinking, drugs, gambling, sex, finances, food or controlling others who had these problems, they had found relief. Some of them were newcomers; others had been participating for years. Some were joyfully committed to their recovery; others were reluctant visitors who didn’t trust the “God” thing, the “powerless” thing or any number of other things. What’s your relationship to your recovery?

Fourth, many of my women clients felt lost. Something was still missing. Meetings, the steps, having sponsors, being sponsors, weren’t bringing them the rewards they wanted or had previously experienced. They were sure that something was wrong with them and that they were destined to relapse. Do you sometimes wonder about this?

Here’s what was true about them — I invite you to tune into your own feelings.  They were ready to benefit from sharing feedback directly with other women, but self-help programs discourage this for a good reason: Great power comes from telling one’s truth and not have anyone else put their spin on it.

So there’s a place for “speaking into the silence.” But there is also power in speaking, listening and responding, especially when you have a guide who manages the spin.

As I listened to them, it seemed they wanted even more anonymity—a place where they could talk, know that their concerns would not go anywhere else, and also learn how others experience who they are. I also heard that they wanted to honor the sacred without being limited by religious beliefs.

I realized they could learn so much more from each other and that I could be their guide. I invited them to come together. For 19 years, incredibly awesome women have participated in the Women Healing Women group, nourished themselves and offered the same to others. They re-enter their own lives more whole, and sometimes they return for replenishment.

Is this your time?  If anything I’ve shared resonates for you, the Women Healing Women process could be for you.  I have limited openings in my face-to-face group, which meets in the San Francisco Bay Area. In 2013 I will be expanding this opportunity to support women online.

Consider this. The Women Healing Women program could be just right for you if

• You want to add more staying power to your 12-step recovery program
• Your self-help experience isn’t anonymous enough
• You want relapse to become a distant memory
• You want the benefit of balanced cross-talk
• You want to engage your deeper sources of wisdom

The Women Healing Women in-person group meets in the San Francisco Bay Area.  The Women Healing Women online group begins in January, 2013. Space is limited in each group to enhance your privacy and your growth.

Contact me to request a phone consultation. We will discover together if the Women Healing Women programs can help you add another dimension to your journey in recovery.