Dealing with that Negative Mind

“My mind is a dangerous neighborhood. I can’t go in there alone.”*

I ended last month’s column with this quote, but I really blew it.

What I said was, “Don’t let this attitude get in your way.”

What I meant was, “Hold onto this attitude with everything you got!”

If you’ve ever made a mistake and wanted a do-over, you’ll understand when I take this opportunity for a do-over.

This month’s column is about why the mind is so darned dangerous.

Ever heard of Negative Thinking? Sure you have – and it has a bad reputation doesn’t it?

How about its friend Pessimism? We should ban it, too, shouldn’t we? Pessimism has such a bad reputation that optimists think pessimists claim to be “realists” rather than admit the truth about their negativity.

It turns out the part of the brain that is in charge of what we call “thinking” is a HUGE STOP SIGN.

It’s supposed to be that way. This is one of its jobs.

If you don’t believe me, just stop reading RIGHT NOW and go run out into traffic. Or put your hand on a hot stove.

Okay, you shouldn’t do this unless you’re at least 18. If you’re under 18, find an adult and see how they handle it when you tell them you want to dash into traffic or touch a hot stove. If they say, “Whatever you want, dear,” then they’re either not paying attention or they know that you’re testing them just to get a reaction.

It doesn’t take a brain scientist to understand why older people should be in charge, even though some older people leave much to be desired. It’s just that it takes experience over time for the Stop Sign Mind to learn its job of saying, “Oh, you want to do that? No way!”

It’s all a part of how we’re wired. Deep inside we’re still walking in the woods on the alert for tigers. And the younger we are, the less likely our brains have developed enough to get that.

Negative thinking has at least one positive purpose:  Impulse control. And the older we are, the more likely it is that we have developed this skill.

So when Susie wants to drive her friends to a movie on Saturday night, you don’t have to quote state law. Just say, “No, dear, not until your brain is ready to see all those tigers out there on the road.”

The trick is to respect the natural negativity of your mind without being crippled by all the tigers that might be out there. Sign up for a free workshop this month to discover more about how to use your mind’s natural negativity to create new possibilities for your life.

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What are the challenges you face around balancing your brain’s tendency to send out negative signals? Let me know at info@habitsintohealth.com. Next month I’ll include reader comments and questions in talking about another natural aspect of being human:  The buddy system, an important part of the second half of  “My mind is a dangerous neighborhood. I can’t go in there alone.”

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If you want what you feel on the inside to be just as powerful as how you look on the outside, apply for a free discovery session to discover if my services could be a fit for you.

* See Anne Lamott’s original article in Salon, titled “My mind is a bad neighborhood I try not to go into alone.”