What? Why you should take the blame NOT!
Sleep & the seasons
April 8, 2013Relapse: Expect It and Respect It
April 15, 2013After reading one of Peter Bregman’s blogs today, headlined Why You Should Take the Blame, I made this comment:
“Well done – what an attention grabber that headline is! Of course, things are a bit more nuanced than that, as Peter’s blog and everyone’s comments clarify.
“I can’t speak so much about the CEO and corporate leadership world, but as an addiction specialist working clinically, I’ll pipe in about personal relationships that leaks into the work world.
“Let’s say Person A socializes failure and personalizes success (If there’s problems, it’s your fault or look what you did; if there’s success, I made it happen or look what I did).
“Person B personalizes failure and socializes success (if there’s problems, it’s my fault or I played a role in this problem; if there’s success, we did it together or I did it with your help).
“When both parties place blame for problems on one of them even when successes can be shared, it creates a power differential that few relationships can sustain. We have terms for these relationship patterns: Abuse, Bullying, Domestic Violence, Sexual Harassment.
“Far better to shift away from the Blame Game altogether.
“What Peter is really talking about is what I call The Responsibility Game. Each of us can play a role in changing our world by socializing AND personalizing failure (When things go wrong, let’s solve this together; I take ownership of my role and I expect the same from you; when things go well, let’s each take ownership together and celebrate our success).”
Recently I posted two podcasts about the dance between blame and responsibility. You can find them here:
14 Comments
I can understand what Peter is talking about is the Responsibility Game, as well. Great article! I’ve bookmarked this article for tomorrow so that I may listen to the two podcasts about the dance between blame and responsibility. Thank you, Michael Anne.
Very well written and so true! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your article!
Agree, personal responsibility is important. Thanks for sharing.
Great reminder that we need to take responsibility for our actions and take credit when credit is due. Thank you Michael Anne!
I agree with this, I was raised to take personal responsibility for outcomes in my locus of control,;although as I grew up I realized that I cannot take responsibility for everything that comes across my lap. Sometimes it is o.k. to walk away or share responsibility with other responsible parties. It works in my personal life and at work.
We all need to take responsibility for our lives. Blaming does no good and stunts our growth.
Thanks for sharing! I agree that personal responsibility is crucial – even though some may find it a wee bit difficult to face up to I think it’s the best way forward for success on any level.
Thank you for sharing this. It is so important to be responsible! Great post.
SO very true! It is so important for people to take responsibility for their actions and to not blame others.
Great article – personal responsibility is so important!
Absolutely! We are responsible…I believe it makes us take action quicker too!
Agreed. I think women tend to follow in your Person B mode, and I think realizing it is a bit of both in success and failure most of the time is healthiest.
Great article, Michael Anne. I agree. Personal responsibility is so important. Thank you for sharing this!